Growing up

I've decided, being a resident is a lot like growing up.  As children we trust everything our parents tell us, without even acknowledging that they may be wrong. Their words are truth, and accepted as such.  Then we start growing up, and somewhere along the way, have that startling realization that they could be wrong.  Some innocence is lost when we find out that a lot of what comes out of their mouth is opinion, or their idea of the right answer, rather than fact.

The same thing happens in residency.  We start out, as interns, trusting and naive.  We assume that those staff and attending doctors that guide us are all knowing. The words uttered we take as truth.  We assume, like children, that medicine is black and white...and we are on our way to knowing the right answers.  Then we grow, and progress and it starts to dawn on us - that realization that the doctor training us could be wrong. At first it feels like our trust has been betrayed.  But then our brain's start understanding that it's more gray out there than black and white, and that what's often spoken as truth is merely opinion.

In that midway point now in realization, it's strange when the interns ask me questions expecting absolute truth. They still don't realize that it's just me...my opinion on the right thing to do.  "What's the precise amount of IV fluids to start on a 65 year old admitted with pneumonia?" they'll ask.  I do my best to say that there is no precise amount - just pick something - 100 an hour, 150 an hour, 70 an hour- does it really matter?  But they will wait for a definite answer, then write it in some notebook as if it were truth.  They'll soon learn, like children, that those ahead of us speak in opinions more than fact.