I love psychology - but it's frightening what we parents can DO to those in our charge! Last week I got to observe a counseling session. The session itself was pretty boring, but the background was fascinating. This 50 year old woman was the eldest child in her family. When she was 5 or 6 her parents realized that her 4 year old sister was mentally challenged. Not knowing how to be "fair" to both girls, they decided to just treat them both as if they were mentally handicapped!
For her whole life, this intelligent woman had all of her decisions made for her as if she was incapable of making choices. A smart woman, avid reader, good at math, etc -she is socially a mess. She's 50 and has lived 20 years in the same apartment- that was after moving from her parents house. She has never dated, EVER. Why? because her parents told her not too. In the session it was fascinating to see that she still can't make decisions, she has been trained to ask her mom and dad (now in their 70's). She has no depth whatsoever, was never trained to THINK.
2 lessons then: 1)Just because you are given the capability, I.E. "IQ", if the right environmental cues aren't available you can still be "dumb"ed down. 2)Seeing the consequences, I don't recommend this form of "fairness" in parenting!
